Jealous Is Bad??

This is not an entry about recent news - SD against TPM.. ok.. (I'm getting nausea now! Yucks!)

Adakah cemburu itu sesuatu yang tidak baik?

Today, mom is not well and I was supposed to go to the hospital for Syafiah's appointment to see the neuro. But I didn't go as there's something wrong with my head. I feel dizzy since Monday and it doesn't want to go away. Maybe because of the mensus thing which I haven't got since 5 months after the confinement period (it's freak me out until we planned to buy a pregnancy test kit). I just asked my husband to go there alone with our little angel.

When mom woke up this morning she was alright until she went upstairs and rest for a while. I entered her room and talked to her. When she opened her eyes, suddenly she felt like the world was spinning.

In fact, she intended to fast as tomorrow is 1st Rejab and coincidently, it falls on Friday. Unfortunately, she didn't woke up for sahur (but still eagers to pursue fasting):

Puasa sunat pada hari Jumaat adalah makruh dalam mazhab Syafii sekiranya ia tidak digandingkan dengan puasa pada hari Khamis atau hari Sabtu. Dalam erti kata lain, seseorang itu digalakkan agar berpuasa juga pada hari Khamis sebelumnya, atau hari Sabtu selepasnya. Ini adalah kerana hari Jumaat adalah hari perayaan dalam Islam, maka Rasulullah s.a.w tidak menggalakkan seseorang itu berpuasa pada hari Jumaat kecuali jika dia berpuasa pada hari sebelum atau sesudahnya.

Berpuasa pada hari Sabtu bersendirian adalah makruh, iaitu tidak disertakan puasa pada hari sebelum atau sesudahnya. Ini adalah kerana Islam menghormati agama lain, dan hari Sabtu adalah hari perayaan orang-orang Yahudi, sepertimana hari Jumaat adalah perayaan orang Islam, dan hari Ahad untuk orang Nasrani. Maka, Rasulullah s.a.w tidak menggalakkan kita berpuasa pada hari Jumaat sehingga Ahad jika tidak diikuti dengan puasa pada hari sebelum atau sesudahnya. Namun, puasa itu tetap sah.

When we were talking, she moved to the bathroom slowly and vomitted. She was weak and couldn't move much. She laid on the floor near bathroom and refused to eat breakfast and panadol as well. She said she hardly can open her eyes. I just put two tablets of Panadol, a cup of plain water & a plate of char koay tiau near her. I thought it'll better not to push her in order to make her feel comfortable.

As my husband has taken a half day leave, leaved me with no choice except to sms-ing my sister and told her about mom condition. Her husband is not working during the day, so it's easier for him to bring mom to the clinic.

They came at noon. Mom refused to wake up and we insisted her to go to the clinic immediately. The feeling hits me when I saw Awa pulled mom when she wanted to pee. In my heart, will there be any place & chance for me to help my mom? Kinda jealous but I remain calm and helped them anyway I could. I told mom to just let go her waste in front of us and stop being shy by closing the door.

Awa : "Mak jangan tutup pintu. Nanti jatuh sorang-sorang kat dalam"

Mak : "Malu aih aku hangpa tengok"

Me : "Nak malu apa... dah jenuh mak tengok kami punya dulu"

We afraid she might fall down inside. Then, she threw again and again. Her hands were shaking!

I gave mom her cloth to change and tudung. Then, they went to the nearby clinic. When they get back, mom was still weak (until now). She ate her lunch and took her medication. Now, she's sleeping.

According to her, the doctor had advised her to go there later to fully examine herself i.e. blood test, etc when she feels ok. The BP is not high and recently she complained that she has a backache specifically at her waistline. The doctor advised her to fast 18 hours before she can do the check up. Later lah, I mean.

Luckily this thing happened in my house, not at her house at kampung. Whenever she goes back to kampung, I've this kind of feeling of insecure as she'd be staying there all alone.

And I've the feeling of insecure when I saw the way Awa treated mom. Feel that I've done lesser than it should be. Am I jealous? Am I a good daughter?


Some Tazkirah For You and Me

Imam Muslim di dalam kitab Sahihnya meriwayatkan sebuah hadith yang berbunyi:

رغم أنفه من أدرك والديه عند الكبر أحدهما أو كليهما فلم يدخل الجنة

Maksudnya: “Kehinaan bagi sesiapa yang memiliki kedua ibu-bapanya yang tua salah seorang atau kedua-duanya, dan tidak dapat memasuki syurga.”[1]

Al-Imam al-Nawawi ketika mensyarahkan hadith ini berkata: “Hadith ini berupa galakan untuk berbuat baik kepada ibu-bapa dan besarnya pahalanya, maknanya berbuat baik kepada mereka berdua ketika mereka tua dan lemah dengan memberi khidmat atau nafkah atau selainnya menjadi sebab dapatnya memasuki syurga, dan sesiapa yang mengurangi perkara ini (berbuat baik kepada ibu-bapa), dia terlepas dari dapat memasuki syurga dan Allah menghinakannya.”[2]

Demikian betapa besarnya kedudukan berbuat baik kepada ibu-bapa sehingga ia menjadi sebab beroleh syurga ataupun neraka.

Di dalam al-Adab al-Mufrad[3] al-Imam al-Bukhari meriwayatkan sebuah hadith daripada Ibn ‘Abbas R.A. yang didatangai seorang lelaki dan bertanya:

إنِّي خَطَبْتُ امرَأةً فَأبَتْ أن تَنْكِحَنِيْ, وَخَطَبَهَا غَيْرِيْ فَأحَبَّتْ أن تَنْكِحَهُ, فَغِرتُ عَلَيْهَا فَقَتَلْتُهَا, فَهَلْ لِي مِنْ تَوْبَةٍ؟ قال: أُمُّكَ حَيَّةُ؟ قال: لَا, قال: تُبْ إلى اللهِ عَزَّوَجَلّ, وَتَقَرَّبْ إلَيْهِ مَا اسْتَطَعْتَ. قال عطاء من يسار: فَذَهَبْتُ فَسَألْتُ ابنَ عَباسٍ: لمِاَ سَألْتَهُ عَن حَيَاةِ أمِّهِ؟ فقال: إنِّيْ لَا أعْلَمُ عَمَلاً أقْرَبُ إلى اللهِ عَزَّوَجَلَّ مِنْ بِرِّ الْوَالِدَةْ.

Maksudnya: “Aku telah meminang seorang wanita, akan tetapi ia tidak menerima pinangan-ku, kemudian wanita itu dipinang oleh lelaki lain, dan wanita itu menerimanya, maka timbul perasaan cemburu aku terhadap wanita itu, lalu aku membunuhnya. Apakah bagi-ku ada peluang (diterima) taubat? Ibn ‘Abbas bertanya: “(Apakah) Ibu-mu masih hidup?” Jawab lelaki itu: “Tidak.” Kata Ibn ‘Abbas: “Bertaubatlah kepada Allah A.Z.W.J. dan hampirkanlah diri kepada-Nya semampu-mu.” ‘Atho bin Yasar berkata: “Aku pergi bertanya kepada Ibn ‘Abbas: “Mengapa anda bertanya kepada lelaki itu apakah ibunya masih hidup?” Jawab Ibn ‘Abbas: “Sesungguhnya aku tidak mengetahui adanya satu amalan yang lebih hampir kepada Allah A.Z.W.J. lebih daripada berbuat baik kepada ibu.”[4]

Mu’awiyah bin Jahimah (معاوية بن جاهمة ) yang datang kepada Nabi S.A.W. dan berkata:

يا رسول الله أردت أن أغزو، وقد جئت أستشيرك, فقالهل لك أم؟ قال: نعم. قال : فالزمها فإن الجنة تحت رجليها

Maksudnya: “Wahai Rasulullah, aku ingin pergi perperang, aku datang untuk meminta pandangan-mu. Nabi S.A.W. bertanya: Apakah kamu mempunyai ibu? Jawabnya: “Ya”. Sabda Nabi S.A.W.: Peliharalah (berbuat baiklah kepada) dia, sesungguhnya syurga berada di bawah dua kakinya.”[13]

Allah, please give me chances to take a good care of my mother. Berikanlah masa-masa itu bagi membetulkan kesilapanku di masa-masa lalu. Masa-masa yang tidak mampu aku ulangi bersama ayahku.....

*****************************

Waida, send my warmest salam to your parents.. I love them as well... please visit them always before they close their eyes.

Tuan Syed, Middle Child Syndrome & Mak

There was once, a male lecturer - Tuan Syed - asked us this question when he first time met us.

Tuan Syed : “Inilah soalan pertama saya dalam kelas ni. Siapa antara semua ni yang merupakan anak nombor dua?”

Few had raised their hands.

Tuan Syed : “Pengalaman saya, anak nombor dua ni selalunya trouble maker.” then he chuckled.

Yeah.. he’s precise!

My son has turned out to be a bit aggressive lately. Most of the time, he’ll be extra creative, doing his ‘projects’ with or without kakak. Playing and arranging glasses, writing his masterpiece on the wall, playing with something not to be played (toothbrush, roll on, talc), etc. The unnatural, he likes to pinch or beat kakak sometimes with hanger or anything that near to him after he teased her.

Now with mak around, he likes to turn himself to be with my mak most. Eating, bathing and sleeping with her everyday. Every single action will be with mak. When Achu comes, he always wants to tag along and leave the house to go to Achu’s home. I’m not jealous but it’s pretty obvious that he’s sending us a signal that he feels ‘unwanted’. Macam membawa diri! Macam tunjuk perasaan!

I red somewhere in the Pa&Ma about a mother who sent a letter to the editor regarding her middle child. The syndrome called ‘middle child syndrome'. Another syndrome which is related is ‘second child syndrome’.

Adding second and third children greatly impacts the family structure, and a middle child is created. Yes, the “Middle Child Syndrome” is very real. Middle kids bemoan their fate as being ignored and often grow resentful of all the parental attention given to the oldest and the baby of the family, and feel short-shifted. Three kids triangulate sibling relationships, with one child at any given point feeling like the odd man out from the chumminess of the other two.

(More to read, please click here!)

Another one:

Okay, so I'm exaggerating, but you get the idea: The second child really does get shafted. After you've seen your firstborn sit up for the first time, crawl for the first time, take her first steps and speak her first words, let's be honest ‑- it's hard to drum up the same level of enthusiasm for the second (though you are of course delighted to see her thrive). You can't help but feel guilty that your littler one spends most of her time relegated to the car seat as you shuttle her big sis to her various social calendar engagements and after-preschool activities. Though your first child took long leisurely naps undisturbed in her crib, your second one is transferred constantly from crib to car seat and back again.

(More to read, please click here!)

From the answer given in Pa&Ma, the specialist didn't blame the parents as they have given extra or equal attention to their kids. It's natural!

Furthermore, after Syafiah was borned, the attention turned to her dramatically. Even after we discharged last week, I can feel the loose connection between me and him. Of course, I feel guilty! Managing people's behavior, especially kids, is not always easy. I need to be fair and equal.

Eventhough that he's 'changing' from time to time, spank & brutality is not an answer. I'll remain cool and patient! When he beats kakak, I'll chase him around the house like a 'crazy woman' (sambil ngilai-ngilai & geletek-geletek, of course!). I always hug my kids and gigit their ears too! (Gigit yang tak sakitlah!).

Letting Adam to be with mak now, doesn't mean that I don't care about him, doesn't mean that I don't love him. In fact, I love him more as he is unique! My jewel in the heart!

It's just about their quality time together. My mom is no longer young. The Almighty God can take her anytime. Before she goes, I just want to let her days fill with happy memories. Biarlah Adam terus rapat dengan mak...

***********************************




Gambar ehsan Dengan Izin

N Gobalakrishnan (KeADILan - Padang Serai), Tian Chua (KeADILan - Batu), dan Hee Loy Sian (KeADILan - Petaling Jaya Selatan).

Sila baca blog YB Kulim - Zulkifli Nordin.

Bravo-bravo... jimat duit minyak!

Tak Lalu Makan & Tag Lagi

Asyik ingat kat Mak je ni. Sejak hantar Mak balik rasa macam tak syiokkk.. biasa makan atau masak sama-sama. Dah tinggal sorang balik ni... masak pun malas. Makan tengahari pun belum ni.. tak lalu nak makan apa pun kecuali minum milo.

Semalam masa nak balik tanya Mak bila dia nak mai lagi ke rumah, dia senyap je. Nampak matanya berkaca-kaca. Menahan air mata dari tumpah. Hari ni Mak mesti sorang diri kat rumah jugak. Nak je saya pindahkan pejabat suami saya ke TP. Senang saya nak dok kampung & jaga Mak. Tak daya...

Sebenarnya bila Mak balik ni mengundang perasaan sikit risau tentang dirinya. Mak memang kena balik pun. Kena ambil ubat. Lagi pun dia dah tak senang duduk. Orang biasa rumah berhalaman besar ni lain sket. Asyik nak cari kerja di luar. Biasalah tu.. orang-orang veteran memang sikapnya begitu...

Dan sebenarnya saya pun tak nak mengundang fitnah. Nanti dikatakan Mak tinggal di rumah saya untuk menjaga anak-anak saya. Dilema...

Tak pe... Allah Penjaga terbaik.. mesti Dia jaga Mak dan juga perasaan saya yang rindu kat Mak ni dengan baik juga

***********************************************

Satu tag lagi... tajuk tag - Workstation (memandai je aku bagi..). Tag ni Intan jugak yang bagi. Tag ni susah sket la nak buat.. tapi syiok jugak isi masa lapang. Workstation saya banyak tempat.. ada yang kecil, ada jugak yang besar..

Setelah menggodek PC, ini yang saya jumpa. Malas nak ambil gambar lagi. Workstation paling utama untuk hari ini:

Jangan tak tahu saya ada pembantu yang setia & rajin. Saya belum tentu setia pada dia.. hihi



Sorang lagi pembantu yang lebih senior. Cubicle ni besar hingga boleh menempatkan satu lagi workstation iaitu katil pembantu saya yang ketiga. Hihi...

Nak compare.. dua-dua kerja ada kelebihan.. tapi jadi resident engineer ni gives you peace of mind. Tak perlu bersesak nak ke tempat kerja. Tak perlu pakai tudung. Tak perlu risau nak iron baju mana hari ni & sebagainya. Boleh curi-curi tido tanpa ada satu bos pun yang marah @ terkantoi sampai kena pecat.. ngahaha.. duit bulanan dapat jugak. Malah bos perlu bayar ansuran rumah yang sedia ada.. alhamdulillah.

Yang ni plak antara workstation bila balik kampung (bila nak beli sebiji pun entah la.. ):

Workstation idaman saya. Bukan kat pejabat orang tapi kat pejabat milik saya sendiri suatu hari nanti. Mungkin bleh ajak Intan jadi sharepartner. Hang nak dak? Buat kat area SU/DC dah la...dekat dengan budak-budak ni.

Yang ini :

Atau yang ini :

Atau jugak yang ini :

Keh keh keh... this is the best part... nak tag orang lain plak.. specially SAHM cam saya ni - Kak Rina. Pastu - Jingga Studies (kena lagi, jangan marah.. hihi.. ambik ko), Aida, Azie, Izat & Kak Elle.